Cards versus Life

I didn’t play too great on Wednesday, but I played sober.



I actually got further this last week than I did the week before. I lasted on my table through the break, a re-buy, and an add-on. I lasted until my table was short-handed and broken up. I was moved to the Oval, but after a few hands, I had to make my all-in move with King-9. Which isn’t a terrible hand, but against Ben Kerns, it faced defeat.

Today’s entry isn’t so much about the game and how I played. It’s about my recent self-awareness with things in my life.



It’s like with poker. If you aren’t playing well, you have options. I never exercise these options. I never change my style of play, I never take risks. I always stick to the same style of play, and it hasn’t been working out lately. So, instead of innovating a new way to handle things, I get drunk and mope and feel sorry for myself, and frankly, nobody likes the person who does that.

Then I came to the realization that I am “that person.” When a game doesn’t go my way, I blame it on the cards, the other players, etc. (Sometimes it actually is that, though.) Instead of focusing on what I could be doing better, I choose to blame anything but myself.

It’s time for change. It’s time to shake up my playing style, as well as my life. If I’m not happy at the table, I should do something about it. I should change how I’m playing to take control of the situation. It’s the same with life. If I’m ever unhappy about something, I need to change the situation so I control it. It’s not up to anyone else but me. I have to learn to make the hard decisions, I have to learn to say “No, this isn’t what I want. This other thing is what I want.”

Right now, it’s all about control.

You don’t blame the kid who drives a car into a tree. He didn’t know any better, he’s a kid. You blame the 23 year old woman who got into the passenger seat and said, “Drive, kid. I trust you.”

Time to change. I’m going to take control of the situation, be it in poker or in life. If I don’t like the way a certain situation is headed, I have to step up and say no. It’s time to be assertive, and to know when to change how I play the game.

The most relevant advice I’ve taken from poker is something Brooke Radding said. 2 weeks ago, a player said to him, “I’m going to take you all-in.” Brooke fired back, “No, you aren’t. Only I can take myself all-in. It’s up to me, not you.”

Cheers, Brooke. Cheers.